WHERE EAGLES DARE

(DELAY IN POSTING BE CONDONED AS POWER

FAILED IN LOCAL AREA ON 26TH MAY, mircally)

ALL NARRATED CONTENTS ARE TRUE  , A LESSON FOR DISBELIEVES , EXCLUSIVELY FOR THOSE WHO DISBELIEVE IN “MIRACLES” , THIS STORY RELATES TO A SUPER NATURAL , DYNAMIC / MIRCLOUS PERSON , BORN IN A REMOTE TOWN OF  “COCONUT LAND” . THIS BABY CHILD , WHO WROTE  DISTINGUISHED  HISTORY  UPON “MIRACLES ”, WHICH PERPLEXED , SIZZLED ALL EXPERTS  ,  SPECIALISTS AMOUNTING TO INCREDIBLITY”. AFTER READING  , ALL WILL SAY  THAT “ MIRACLES CAN HAPPEN ANY TIME , IN ANY PART OF WORLD”.

“IT   WAS     25^TH     MAY    1952. 

LATE EVENING .PLEASANT CLIMATE , VERY ROMANTIC ATMOSPHERE , . BREEZE COOL ,  ALL OVER  . COCONUTS  SWAYING ON TREES COMPOSING FACINATING MUSIC , TEA PLANTS AROMA  HIGH  IN SMELL , FISHERMEN  SINGING , FISH OOZING OUT OF SEA ! CLUBS AT BOOM , , BIRDS  SINGING  LATE NIGHT (INSTEAD OF EARLY MORNING) IN A “RAMBA-SUMBA PO PO ” TUNE , STREET STREAMS CHANGED RYTHM IN FLOW , ALL FEELING EXTRA ENERGETIC AND  VIGOUROUS , INHIBITANT   WEARING COLORFULL , HALF FOLDED “LOUNGIES” WITH BUNYANS, AND TOWELS ON SHOULDER , WITH “OIL MASSAGED BODIES” & BRUSHING  TEETH , CHATTING AROUND TEA SHOPS ENJOYING “LOCAL LIQUOR” ( PLASTIC BOTTLES IN HAND .  THEIR “SWEET” BODY AROMA  AROUND . .UNEXPECTEDLY, VERY NAUGHTY CHILDREN BECAME DECENT .PEOPLE WERE  JOKING , SINGING SONGS IN THEIR  MELODIOUS SWEET “COCONAYLAM” ( COCONUT LAND LANGUAGE) . ALL DANCING  AND JERKING ( WITH JOY AND NOT UNDER ALCOHOL) .ATMOSPHEE WAS VERY SIMILAR TO “ PONUM”( A SEASONAL FESTIVAL) OF “COCONETLAND”

“AT-MIDNIGHT “, SUDDENLY CLIMATE CHANGED . THUNDER ROARED  BRUITTLY , WITH  REPEATED DAZZLING  “GREEN”  STORMY LIGHTINING  FLASHES , AS IF NATURE IS IN A PHOTO  SESSION FROM HEAVEN , FOLLWED BY ABRUPT  PIERCING , TORRENT RAIN SHOWERS , BLUE IN COLOR– THUNDER  STORM  NOISE  SHAKING EARTH MAKING “ECHO SOUND” AS IF WILL “DEAF” ALL INHIBITANTS , TERRIBLE RATTLING ALL OVER ! SEA JUMPING  OUT OF  SHORES LIKE  TSONAMI ,TREES BOWING , BRANCHES TOUCHING GROUND AS GOING TO FALL. , ELECTRICITY POLES TWISTED .NEON SIGNS AND PUBLICITY  BOARDS FLEW TO INFINITY .COCONUTS FALLING , PUNCTURING  PEOPLE HEADS , ALL RUNING FOR SHELTER .GOVERNMENT MACHINERY  AT “ RED ALERT ,  SYRNS SHRIEKING , “RELATED EXPERTS  INVESTIGATING CONFUSINGLY , FOR THIS DIRE UNEXPETED / UNPREDICTED CHANGE IN CLIMATE AND WEATHER  EMBARRASED  ALL  EXPERTS  AS FAILING   TO GET ROUTE CAUSE OF THIS UN-NATURAL SUDDEN  CHANGES ? GEOLOGIST AND SCIENCTISTS RUSHED TO LABORTORIES TO GET SOURCE — GEOLOGICAL SURVEY AND OTHER TESTS MISERABLY FAILED TO PIN-PONT CAUSE OF THIS SUDDEN GREAT MISERY. NOW LOCAL CLOCK TOWER  SHOWING 2.15 AM.IT IS  26^TH MAY , 1952 AND  ————————–  STUCKED   DEAD ! !

DURING THIS HORRIBLE –SITUATION ALL “SECRETS SERVICES REMAINED BUSY AT “RED ALERT” BUT FAILED “  MISERABLY TO  GET ANY SOLID REASON , CLUE OR  EVIDENCE , AGAINST THIS MISERY.”DETECTING QUIPMENT” WERE BEEPING WHILE PIN-POINTING ONE AREA  WHERE  “ A  BABY BOY TOOK BIRTH  EXACTLY THE VERY SAME TIME –WHEN ALL HAPPENED — A REMOTE VILLAGE OF “COCONUT LAND”UPON INVESTIGATION IT REVEALED THAT  NO OTHER DELIVERY IN ANY HOSPITAL OR DOMESTICALLY REPORTED AT THAT SPECIFIC TIME “, ( THAT WAS ONLY THE BIRTH IN THAT VILLAGE ). 

MIRICOULSLY ——— ALL BECAME NORMAL WITHIN FEW MINUTES, AS NEVER HAPPENED. MEANS ALL THIS TERRIBLE SITUATION EXISTED FOR TEN / FIFTEEN MINUTES ONLY.

 AS SOON IT BECAME NORMAL , “PRINT”  AND “ELECTRONIC MEDIA” , GEOLOGISTS , ATOMIC RESEARCHERS , NECULAR EXPERTS , ARMY , AIRFORCE  , NAVAL , RUSHED TO THAT HOUSE /SPOT  WHERE THAT BABY CHILD TOOK BIRTH . THEY FOUND   SURROUNDED GRASS BURNT  , TREES DOWN , STREAMS FLOWING OPPOSITE  DIRECTIONS   (WITHIN TWENTY KILOMETER RADIOUS OF  BIRTH PLACE )EXPERTS   FOUND A SMART , CUTE  CHILD WITH KILLING SMILE , GLITTERING EYES  IN A “SWING” LOOKING AT MEDIA PEOPLE PENETRATINGLY  .THE CHILD WAS NORMAL , HEALTHY WITH  FACINATING INNOCENT FEATURES  ,  A GREAT “BLUSH” -.AS PER BACKGROUND OF THAT FAMILY , NOTHING FOUND SPECIAL .PARENTS WERE THOROUGH GENTLE , RESPECTED ALL OVER , ENJOYING BEST REPUTATION IN LOCALITY , KNOWN AS PIOUS , GOD FEARING FAMILY.

TIME PASSED AND ALL FORGOT THIS INCIDENT WITHIN SHORT SPAN OF TIME AS NEVER HAPPENED , TAKING AS “ DREAM” NOW THE LIFE WAS QUITE NORMAL AS USUAL , AS PER HUMAN PSYCHE. , BUT RELATIVES AND PARENTS COULD NEVER ! !

TIME GOES AT IT OWN COURSE. CHILD GREW UP , PARENT CHOOSE A BEUTIFULL ATTRACTIVE  NAME “KURICHIKO BANTA kuriakose”( HEREINAFTER CALLED BANTA) PARENTS  MANAGED ADMISSION   IN LOCAL SCHOOL,WHERE HE WAS KNOWN AS  “GENIUS”. AT AGE OF 2 — HE COULD READ AND WRITE ALPHABETS FROM A-Z WITH FRENCH ALPHABETS  . ABILITY TO  JOIN WORDS ( FRENCH , ENGLISH & LOCAL LANGUAGE) –.AT AGE OF FOUR , HE COULD TELL  HISTORICAL BACKGROUND OF  FIFTY (50) CITIES OF HIS COUNTRY.  .HE PASSED  MATRICULATION WITH DISTINGUISHED MARKS FROM LOCAL SCHOOL AS SOON HE LEFT SCHOOL , ALL TEACHERS RUSHED TO CHURCHES AND TEMPLES , MANAGING “MARS’ & “PURSHAADS” AS PER THEIR BELIEF –BECAUSE ALL FEARED FROM HIS I.Q LEVEL.THAT’S WHY HE COULD NOT STUDY MORE THAN 10^TH CLASS BECAUSE ALL COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES REFUSED TO ACCEPT HIM DUE TO HIS “EXTRA EXPANDED” KNOWLEDGE , INTELLECT , CALIBRE AND ETHICAL APPROACHES. HIS TEACHERS HAD NO ANSWER OF HIS QUESTIONS , AS AT 14 YEARS HE TRIED TO “CROSS BREED “ COCK AND ELEPHANT” … “LIONESS AND ZEBRA” ETC ETC,

FROM CHILDHOOD HE WAS INTRESTED IN “MEDICINES & ITS COMPOSITIONS”. SO HE JOINED A PHYSCIAN ( MBBS DOCTOR) AS “COMPUNDER”. ONE DAY WHEN DOCTOR FELL  SICK , HE OPERATED A TONSILIZED PATIENT SUCCESSFULLY, UPON KNOWING , IT IS HEARD THAT SAID DOCTOR COMITTED SUICIDE AFTER HEARING THE SUCCESS OF THIS COMPLICATED EXPERIENCE.HE MADE A NAME IN THAT  LOCALITY TOO.IT IS WORTH MENTION THAT THE PATIENT , WHO UNDERGONE OPERATION , APPEARED AS FAMOUS PLAY BACK SINGER OF THAT COUNTRY.

BANTA WAS ALWAYS IN SEARCH OF EXCELLENCE.HE TRIED AND ADOPTED MANY PROFESSION , BUT FAILED TO SATISFY HIMSELF.THEN HE DECIDED TO LEAVE COUNTRY ( AS PER TRADITION OF THAT STATE ) HE MANAGED TO COME TO DUBAI , JOINED AN AUTOMOTIVE COMPANY . WITHIN A SHORT SPAN , AGAIN PROVED HIMSELF AS “OUTSTANDING BRILLIANT STAR” IN  COMPANY , UP TO THE EXTENT THAT OWNER AND MANAGEMENT OF THAT COMPANY NEVER LAUNCHED ANY PROJECT WITHOUT HIS APPROVAL . HE GOT SUCH REPUTE THAT FOREIGN DELEGATION STARTED VISIT HIM FREQUENTLY ,  WITH AMAZING  OFFERS , BUT HE ALWAYS REFUSED TO ACCEPT BECAUSE HE “NEVER LOVED”  MONEY .IT WILL NOT BE  OUT OF TOPIC TO MENTION THAT BENZ ,  ALPHA ROMEO , FERRARI , CADDILOC , JAGUR , AND MANY HEADS OF STATES WERE AFTER HIM   HIRE –TEASED HIM SO MUCH THAT HE DECIDED TO LEAVE DUBAI  WHILE  MANGING  “FIVE YEARS ENTRY BAN “SO THAT NONE SHOULD TRY TO INVITE HIM IN DUBAI . HE WAS FULLY AWARE OF HIS WORTH AND DEMAND.HIS BEST FRIEND “SANTA” WAS VERY SAD WHILE LEAVING HIM AT AIRPORT FOR GOOD.

1^ST INSTANCE ..SANTA WAS ONLY THE PERSON WHO WAS VERY NEAR TO BANTA .WHEN “LOCAL PRESS CAME TO KNOW ABOUT DEPARTURE OF BANTA , THEY RUSHED TO SANTA FOR DETAILS. SANTA WAS PLEASED TO TELL ABOUT HIS MIRCLOUS NATURE , SANTA WAS VERY HAPPY TOO , AS HE GOT ATTENTION OF CERTAIN PEOPLE FIRST TIME IN LIFE. SANTA TOLD PRESS “ONCE SANTA BORROWED HIS CAR TO GO SOME WHERE . ROAD WAS BLOCK DUE TO  TRAFFIC.ATONCE BANTA SET “TAKE OFF GEAR” OF CAR TO CROSS TRAFFIC JAM  BY AIR. HE PAID NO HEED TO AIR PRESSURE AND ENGINE RPM . AS RESULT SANTA CAR WAS DAMAGED .. BEING BEST FRIEND OF BANTA , SANTA CHARGED FORCIBLY ONLY “REPAIRING COST” AND NOT FULL PRICE OF CAR. ( SANTA IS WILDLY  MISER , AS TAKES ONLY ONE DRY SANWICH DURING LUNCH , AS “NO MORE” PERMISSION FROM WIFE)

2^ND  INCIDENT :- BANTA JOINED DUBAI CRICKET TEAM. A MATCH WAS ARRANGED INBETWEEN “DUBAI ELEVEN V/S AUSTRALIA ”.BANTA WAS OPENING BATSMAN ( DUBAI ELEVEN). SO CAME ON  CREASE IN FULL KIT TO FACE  AUSTRALAIN  FAST BOWLER . MATCH STARTED , BOWLER TOOK A LONG  START AND THREW BALL .. STRANGE ENOUGH , BANTA NOT MOVED EVEN  MICRO INCH FROM WICKET — EMPIRE CRIED ‘NO BALL” – CLAPS BANGED STADIUM – NOW SECOND BALL — LONG START — NO MOVEMENT FROM BANTA —– “NO BALL “ EMPIRE CRIED AGAIN—CLAPS ALL OVER —ATONCE BANTA RUSHED TO EMPIRE AND SAID “ DO THIS BOWLER THINKS ME  STUPID ? I KNOW FROM VERY BIGNING THAT HE HAD  “NO BALL” IN HIS HAND , WHY  TRYIN TO DODGE AND CHEAT ME !!! HUSH !!! NOW YOU CAME TO KNOW  WHY I DID NOT MOVE EVEN AN INCH “ FROM WICKET ? ? TELL HIM TO BE SERIOUS AND THROW BALL –  WARN HIM TO STOP ACTING  OF THROWING BALL ! !

3^RD INCIDENT.. ONCE BANTA WAS SITTING IN HIS SHOP , WHEN TWO “BHAI LOG” ATTACKED TO LOOT. “BHAI LOG” HAVE BIG KNIVES IN HAND .. SANTA HAD GUN , BUT WITH ONLY ONE BULLET . BANTA WAS A” SHARP SHOOTER”. HE SMARTLY UP HIS GUN , POINTED IN CENTER GAP OF  TWO “BHAI LOG”…WITH OTHER HAND , HOLD A SHARP SMALL KNIFE , SET IN CENTRE OF GUN BARREL HOLE , AND FIRED —– BULLET HIT SHARP  KNIFE AND SPILTED INTO TWO PIECES , SERIOUSLY INJURING BAHI LOGS , FLATING  ON GROUND ,, MEANS , WITH ONE BULLET HE INJURED TWO COMING FROM RIGHT LEFT ANGLES -DID YOU SEE HIS INTELLECT !!!! AMAZING.  

AFTER SOMETIMES , ACCIDENTLY SANTA OCCUPIED A RESPOSIBLE POST  IN ANOTHER GULF COUNTRY . THE FIRST PERSON HE BROUGHT THERE WAS BANTA , BECAUSE HE WAS FULLY AWARE OF HIS” INHERENT VESTED POWERS”.HE WAS APPONTED AS “ASSTT MANAGER” IN A REPUTED AUTOMOTIVE COMPANY.THE DUTIES ENTRUSTED UPON HIM WERE :-

EXPORT  /  CUSTOMER DEALING / MAKING JOB DESCRIPTIONS OF SUBORDINATES / PROTOCOL TO FOREIGN CUSTOMERS / MANAGING THEIR STAY AND HOSTING THEM / MAINTAIN ALL SALES ACCOUNTS /  LOCAL AND FOREIGN CORRESPONDENCE /  SCHEDULING SHIIPPMENTS ACCORDING TO RECIEPTS / TO GET ORDERS TO PTOMOTE SALES  / TO MONITOR WAREHOUSE / TO ADVICE SORTING STRATEGIES TO WARE HOUSE PERSONNEL / TO LOOK  FOR “GOO D PERSONS ( CONATINERS AND TRUCKS HIRING) / L/C DOCUMENTATIONS / TO BE ABREAST WITH LATEST BANKING LAWS /  QUOTATIONS PROFORMAS  MARK-UP AND PROFITABILTY SUPERVISION / ORDER PLACEMENT WITH PRINCIPALS ! 

BE HONEST  IN APPRAISAL– ANALYSE RESPONSIBILITIES !! PERFORMED AND DISCHARGED  BY ONE (WHICH FOUR PEOPLE CANT DO ) , HE WAS SO KIND HEARTED THAT NEVER THOUGHT TO TERMINATE  ANYONE.

IT IS WORTH MENTION THAT ONCE ONE OF THE OWNER WANTED A PART FOR HIS CAR. ALL WAREHOUSE RUNING HERE AND THERE .. BANTA CAME – ASKED THE LOCATION OF RECENT UNLOADED GOODS – AROUDN 150 JUMBOO SIZE CARTOONS WERE LYING IN A LINE — HE CAME NEAR EVERY CARTOON — SMELLED—PASSED —HE STOPPED  NEAR A CARTOON –SMELLED CLOSELY  AND ANNOUNCED THAT REQUIRED PART IS INSIDE — ALL HOLD BREATHE WHEN REQUIRED PART FOUND INSIDE ! ! HE DETECTED A PART  IN A “COMPANY PACKED SEALED ” CARTOON ! !

IT WAS KNOWN TO ALL THAT HIS 8^TH SENSE WAS ABNORMALLY  STORNG. WHENEVER ANY CRITICAL  TIME CAME IN HIS DEPARTMENT , ALWAYS SOME  CURIOUS PAINS STARTED AND HE RUSHED TO HIS COUNTRY FOR TREATMENT TO AVOID SITUATION.

UNDOUBTDLY , HE WAS AN ABSOLUTE GOD FEARING PERSON. WHEN EVER SOME SUBORDINATE CALLE HIM AND ASKED HIS REQUEST , HE WAS EVER FIRST PERSON TO REACH TO HELP , IF SOME ONE NEED LUNCH , IT WAS HIS EVER PLEASURE TO BRING ( MIGHT HE HAVE TO TRAVELL EXTRA MILEAGE) . IF SOMEONE NEED MONITORY HELP , HE WILL HELP SURELY — ALTHOUGH IT IS VERY EXPANSIVE  TO HIRE A FLAT — BUT HE HIRED THREE FLATS IN DIFFERENT POSH AREAS AND GAVE TO POOR LANKANS  FREE OF COST WITH FOOD  AMONG OTHER HOUSE HOLD EMENITIES. WHILE HELPING THEM BUYING GIFTS AND GOLD WHILR TRAVELLING TO THEIR COUNTRIES ON ANNUAL LEAVES..HE  WAS SO GOD FEARING THAT HE MANAGED TWO MARRIAGES OF “TEEN” GIRLS LIVING IN  HIS FLATS , BEARING ALL EXPANSES ..HE HELPED ME TOO — WHAT A GREATNESS ! I SALUTE HIS HIGHNESS.

IT MAY TAKE MORE THAN THOUSAND PAGES IF I START WRITING ALL , BEING BRIEF , HIS HARD WORK TOLD UPON HIS HEALTH , SECONDLY HE FELL IN LOVE WITH ME , WHEREAS SANTA LOVED BANTA . NOW  I BECAME “RIVAL”. SANTA WAS OF THE OPINION THAT I SNATCHED HIS LOVE –NOW SANTA WAS IN SEARCH OF OPPORTUNITY TO KILL ME , SO THAT HE MAY GET HIS LOVE BACK — ANYWAY , HE  FABRICATED A PLAN BY INVOLVING MANAGEMENT , AND SUCESSFULLY TERMINATED ME UNDER A WELL WEAVED PLAN — I CAME BACK TO MY COUNTRY ON 14^TH AUGUST 2008 —– BANTA COULD NOT BEAR THIS SEPRATION ( AS MISSIN ME LOT) AND LEFT THAT GULF COUNTRY ( WHERE HE WAS DIGGING GOLD ) IN A STATE OF GRIEF ON 22^ND OF NOVEMBER 2008 .. ( MAY HE REST IN PEACE).

IN MEMORY OF DEPARTURE DAY, PARLIAMENT HOLD A SPECIAL SESSION AND PASSED BILL TO CELEBRATE  THAT — 22^ND  NOVEMBER AS OFFICIALLY BLACK DAY. A “GAZZETED HOLIDAY” — ANNOUNCING AS “MOURNING DAY”.— ALL OVER STATE.

MY BEST , SINCERE WISHES ARE ALWAYS WITH HIM. IN MY NEXT POST I WILL COMPARE THIS LOVE STORY WITH “ROMEO JULLIET” STORY , WHERE I WILL PROVE THAT THIS PERSON LOVE WAS GREATER AND MUCH SEVERE THAN ‘ROMEO”.

GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY BANTA – ALWAYS BE HAPPY—I MISS YOU — YOU WERE GREAT . YOU ARE GREAT , AND YOU WILL BE GREAT ! ! PEOPLE LIKE YOU TAKES BIRTH IN CENTURIES , AND ABSOLUTELY NOT IN YEARS – YOU ARE A GLOBAL ASSET – BE SURE , YOU NEVER PRAISED AND PLADITH IN THIS WORLD — BUT SURELY IN HEAVEN — THERE WE WILL START “PARTS” BUSINESS — MEANS “EXPORT TO HELL” – SURELY YOU WILL FIND MANY YOUR LOVE ONES OVER THERE ! ! ! AND WE WILL LIVE HAPPILY UNINTERRUPTED – THERE WILL BE NO SANTA TO DEPART US.

IF MY” FIRST AND LAST LOVE “ BANTA –READ THIS ARTICLE , IT IS SHRIEKINGLY REQUESTED THAT HE MUST CONTACT ME. 

I LOVE YOU BANTA

I MISS YOU BANTA

PLEASE COME IN DREAMS.

MANY BIG COMPANIES , INTORDUCES “APPRAISALS FORM’.AS A SINCERE ATTEMPT TO KNOW ABOUT COMPANY “WORKING STYLE “  AND FEELINGS OF EMPLOYEES TOWARDS COMPANY(WHERE THEY ARE WORKING ) ”UNFORTUNATE ENOUGH THAT NON-PROFESSIONAL , LESS EDUCATED , NON EXPERIENCED MANAGERS LIMITATED WITH MOCKERY AND DERSION .BECAUSE SUCH MANGERS BECAME MANAGERS BY DEFAULT OR BY” CERTAIN INFLUENTIAL RECOMMENDATIONS” , NOT UNDER ANY TEST OR COMPETITON.

PERFORMANCE APPRAISALS AREN’T FUN , BUT A VERY SERIOUS DOCUMENT WHICH MAY TAKE COMPANY ON HEAVEN , OR HELL. BUT MANAGERS  PRATCISED AS FUN . “APPRAISLAS FORM “ IS A TOOL TO ASSES , EVALUATE THE PERFORMANCE OF EMPLOYEES AT AN INDIVIDUAL LEVEL. , WHILE PROVIDING OPPORTUNITY TO EMPLOYEE TO OBJECT , COMPLAIN , CRITICISE , PINPOINT ANY LACUNA IN   COMPANY POLICY OR INFRINGING EMPLOYEES BENEFITS . UNFORTUNATE ENOUGH ( SPECIALLY IN GULF)  MAJORITY OF EMPLOYEES HAVE NO CALIBRE EVEN TO WRITE ONE MEANINGFUL SENTENCE OF ENGLISH , WHAT TO TALK ABOUT  “CONTENTS UNDERSTANDINGS”! ! THAT’S WHY MANGERS PREFFERS TO RECRUIT THEIR OWN PEOPLE , OWN NATIVE , OWN COUNTRY MEN.THEY WILL NEVER WRITE ANYTHING AGAINST THEIR MANGER ( THEIR APPOINTING AUTHORITY) , MANAGEMENT WILL BE HAPPY THAT ALL IS GOING ON “O,K” JUST LIKE SITUATION OF AFGHANISTAN WHERE THINK TANKS ARE REPORTING “ALL OK” SO MANAGEMENT SHOULD NEVER FORGET THAT “ SMALL HOLES CAN DROWN THE STROGEST SHIPS”.THESE APPRAISLS ARE BEING USED AS “DECIEVING TOOLS” TO THE MANAGEMENT”. THIS PRCICE BECOMES MORE AGONIZING BECAUSE MANAGERS DO REALLY DUMB THINGS, ENDING UP DESTROYING A PROCESS THAT IS IMPORTANT TO EVERYONE (OR SHOULD BE), APPARENTLY IN THE BENEFIT OF COMPANY , BUT HENIOUSLY EFFECTING THE SYSTEM , MAKING FOOL HIGHER MANAGEMENT , WHICH IS SELF SPEAKING EVIDENCE OF H.R FAILURE . PROFESSIONAL H.R MANAGERS WILL NEVER ENCOURAGE SUCH “FAKE APPRAISALS”. UNFORTUNATELY 85 % H.R MANGERS ARE ONLY DEGREE HOLDERS ONLY , BUT ZERO IN PROFESSIONALISM.ONLY PROFESSIONAL IN “MAKING MONEY” BY KEEPING HIGHER MANAGEMENT IN COMPLETE DARKNESS ”.

STUPID THING #1: SPENDING MORE TIME ON PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL THAN PERFORMANCE PLANNING, OR ONGOING PERFORMANCE COMMUNICATION.THEY WILL NEVER BOTHER TO INTERVIEW EMPLOYEES IN BATCHES , BY MENAS OF WRITTEN TESTS VICE VERSA , JUST FOR EXAMPLE , A PERSON WHO DO NOT KNOW DRIVING , HOW HE CAN DRIVE A CAR ?? BUT ONLY CAN SIT IN ? NATURALLY ALL EMPLOYEES MUST HAVE “KNOW HOW” TO DRIVE APPRAISALS. ( TO UNDERSTAND CONTENTS AND REPLY).

PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL IS THE END OF A PROCESS THAT GOES ON ALL THE TIME – A PROCESS THAT IS BASED ON GOOD COMMUNICATION BETWEEN MANAGER AND EMPLOYEE. SO, MORE TIME SHOULD BE SPENT PREVENTING PERFORMANCE PROBLEMS THAN EVALUATING AT THE END OF THE YEAR. WHEN MANAGERS DO GOOD THINGS DURING THE YEAR, THE APPRAISAL IS EASY TO DO AND COMFORTABLE, BECAUSE THERE WON’T BE ANY SURPRISES.  

STUPID THING #2: COMPARING EMPLOYEES WITH EACH OTHER.

WANT TO CREATE BAD FEELINGS, DAMAGE MORALE, GET STAFF TO COMPETE SO BADLY THEY WILL NOT WORK AS A TEAM? THEN RANK STAFF OR COMPARE STAFF. A GUARANTEED TECHNIQUE. AND HECK, NOT ONLY CAN A MANAGER CREATE FRICTION AMONG STAFF, BUT THE MANAGER CAN BECOME A GREAT TARGET FOR THAT HOSTILITY TOO. STUPID THING #3: FORGETTING APPRAISAL IS ABOUT IMPROVEMENT, NOT BLAME.

WE DO APPRAISAL TO IMPROVE PERFORMANCE, NOT FIND A DONKEY TO PIN A TAIL ON OR BLAME. MANAGERS WHO FORGET THIS END UP DEVELOPING STAFF WHO DON’T TRUST THEM, OR EVEN CAN’T STAND THEM. THAT’S BECAUSE THE BLAMING PROCESS IF POINTLESS, AND DOESN’T HELP ANYONE. IF THERE IS TO BE A POINT TO PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL IT SHOULD BE GETTING MANAGER AND EMPLOYEE WORKING TOGETHER TO HAVE EVERYONE GET BETTER.

STUPID THING #4: THINKING A RATING FORM IS AN OBJECTIVE, IMPARTIAL TOOL.

MANY COMPANIES USE RATING FORMS TO EVALUATE EMPLOYEES (YOU KNOW, THE 1-10 RATINGS?). THEY DO THAT BECAUSE IT’S FASTER THAN DOING IT RIGHT. THE PROBLEM COMES WHEN MANAGERS BELIEVE THAT THOSE RATINGS ARE IN SOME WAY “REAL”, OR ANYTHING BUT SUBJECTIVE, OFTEN VAGUE JUDGEMENTS THAT ARE BOUND TO BE SUBJECTIVE AND INACCURATE. BY THE WAY, IF YOU HAVE TWO PEOPLE RATE THE SAME EMPLOYEE, THE CHANCES OF THEM AGREEING ARE VERY SMALL. THAT’S SUBJECTIVE. SAY IT TO YOURSELF OVER AND OVER. RATINGS ARE SUBJECTIVE. RATING FORMS ARE SUBJECTIVE. RATING FORMS ARE NOT BEHAVIORAL.

STUPID THING #5: HELL UPON  APPRAISAL ,WHEN A PERSON’S SALARY IS NO LONGER TIED TO THE APPRAISALS, BUT UPON PERSONAL LIKINGS OF MANAGERS

LOTS OF MANAGERS DO THIS. THEY CONDUCT APPRAISALS SO LONG AS THEY HAVE TO DO SO TO JUSTIFY OR WITHHOLD A PAY INCREASE TO THEIR “CHUMCHAS”. WHEN STAFF HIT THEIR SALARY CEILING, OR PAY IS NOT CONNECTED TO APPRAISAL AND PERFORMANCE, MANAGERS DON’T BOTHER AS THEY KNOW THAT THEY ARE SAFE . PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL IS FOR IMPROVING PERFORMANCE. IT ISN’T JUST ABOUT PAY (ALTHOUGH SOME THINK IT IS ONLY ABOUT PAY). IF NOTHING ELSE, EVERYONE NEEDS FEEDBACK ON THEIR JOBS, WHETHER THERE IS MONEY INVOLVED OR NOT., AND ALL THAT FEED BACK GOES TO DUSTBIN.

STUPID THING #6: BELIEVING THEY ARE IN POSITION TO ACCURATELY ASSESS STAFF.

MANAGERS DELUDE THEMSELVES INTO BELIEVING THEY CAN ASSESS STAFF PERFORMANCE,( WHEREAS THEY MEASURE IT WITH THEIR OWN PERCEPTIONS WITH “YES SIR” SCALE )EVEN IF THEY HARDLY EVER SEE THEIR STAFF ACTUALLY DOING THEIR JOBS, OR THE RESULTS OF THEIR JOBS, SHOWING GOOD RESULT WILL LEAQD TO TERMINATION).  MOST MANAGERS AREN’T IN A POSITION TO MONITOR STAFF CONSISTENTLY ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO ASSESS WELL. AND, BESIDES WHAT MANAGER WANTS TO DO THAT OR HAS THE TIME. AND, WHAT EMPLOYEE WANTS THEIR MANAGER PERCHED, WATCHING THEIR EVERY MOOD. THAT’S WHY APPRAISAL IS A PARTNERSHIP BETWEEN EMPLOYEE AND MANAGER.THEY APPRAISE UPON “THEIR OBEDIENCE” 

STUPID THING #7: CANCELLING OR POSTPONING APPRAISAL MEETINGS.

HAPPENS A WHOLE LOT. I GUESS BECAUSE NOBODY LIKES TO DO THEM, SO MANAGERS WILL POSTPONE THEM AT THE DROP OF A HAT. WHY IS THIS BAD? IT SAYS TO EMPLOYEES THAT THE PROCESS IS UNIMPORTANT OR PHONY. IF MANAGERS AREN’T WILLING TO COMMIT TO THE PROCESS, THEN THEY SHOULDN’T DO IT AT ALL. EMPLOYEES ARE TOO SMART NOT TO NOTICE THE LOW PRIORITY PLACED ON APPRAISALS.

STUPID THING #8: MEASURING OR APPRAISING THE TRIVIAL.

FACT OF LIFE: THE EASIEST THINGS TO MEASURE OR EVALUATE ARE THE LEAST IMPORTANT THINGS WITH RESPECT TO DOING A JOB. MANAGERS ARE QUICK TO DEFINE CUSTOMER SERVICE AS “ANSWERING THE PHONE WITHIN THREE RINGS”, OR SOME SUCH THING. THAT’S EASY TO MEASURE IF YOU WANT TO. WHAT’S NOT EASY TO MEASURE IS THE OVERALL QUALITY OF SERVICE THAT WILL GET AND KEEP CUSTOMERS. MEASURING OVERALL CUSTOMER SERVICE IS HARD, SO MANY MANAGERS DON’T DO IT. BUT THEY WILL MEASURE THE TRIVIAL.BY IMPLEMENTING STUPID IDEAS.

 SURPRISING EMPLOYEES DURING APPRAISAL.

WANT TO REALLY WASTE YOUR TIME AND CREATE BAD PERFORMANCE? THIS IS A GUARANTEED TECHNIQUE. DON’T TALK TO STAFF DURING THE YEAR. WHEN THEY MESS UP, DON’T DEAL WITH IT AT THE TIME BUT SAVE IT UP. THEN, AT THE APPRAISAL MEETING, TRUCK OUT EVERYTHING SAVED UP IN THE BANK AND DUMP IT IN THE EMPLOYEE’S LAP. THAT’LL SHOW ‘EM WHO IS BOSS!

STUPID THING #10: THINKING ALL EMPLOYEES AND ALL JOBS SHOULD BE ASSESSED IN EXACTLY THE SAME WAY USING THE SAME PROCEDURES.

DO ALL EMPLOYEES NEED THE SAME THINGS TO IMPROVE THEIR PERFORMANCE? OF COURSE NOT. SOME NEED SPECIFIC FEEDBACK. SOME DON’T. SOME NEED MORE COMMUNICATION THAN OTHERS. AND OF COURSE JOBS ARE ALL DIFFERENT DO YOU THINK WE CAN EVALUATE THE CEO OF “TOYOTA” USING THE SAME APPROACH AS WE USE FOR THE PERSON WHO CLEANS THE FACTORY FLOOR( TANZIFCO)? OF COURSE NOT. SO, WHY DO H.R INSIST ON EVALUATING THE RECEPTIONIST USING THE SAME TOOLS AND CRITERIA AS THE CHARTERED ACCOUNTANTL ?

IT’S DUMB. ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL. ACTUALLY WHY DO MANAGERS DO THIS? MOSTLY BECAUSE THE PERSONNEL OR HUMAN RESOURCE OFFICE LEANS ON THEM TO DO SO. IT’S ALMOST UNDERSTANDABLE, BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT ANY LESS DUMB( EVERY ONE TAKING CARE OF HIS “KHUBBAS”.)

I WORKED IN A REPUTED COMPANY IN GULF. APPRAISALS WERE INTRODUCED THERE TOO, REALLY A POSITIVE PRACTICE . THE USE OF THAT FORM WAS ONLY TO CALCULATE ‘ANNUAL BONUS” ONLY. AFTER FILLING THAT , H.R IS ONLY NOTIFYING THE “PERPOTIONAL GRADE” CALCULATIONS AND ALLOCATING BONUS.NOTHING ELSE .I STILL CHALLENGE (ENTIRELY FOR THE BENEFIT OF THAT COMPANY) THAT H.R SHOULD CALL ALL THE EMPLOYEES OF THAT DEPARTMENT , BRING THEM IN CONFRENCE HALL , AND ASK THEM TO WRITE “ONLY ALPHABETS” FROM A TO Z ONLY— AND IN FIGURES FROM “ONE TO HUNDRED”LIKE  ( ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR ,FIVE  , HUNDRED )

H.R WILL COME TO KNOW THE WORTH OF THESE APPRAISALS  FOR WHICH CPMPANY IS  SPENDING LOT OF MONEY ..  ( NOT MENTIONING COMPANY OR DEPTT AS TOKEN OF RESPECT , BUT ALL KNOW ME  ) 

I WOULD LIKE TO ADVICE SUCH COMPANIES ( H.R ) DEPARTMENT THAT AT 1^ST ATTEMPT ,THEY MUST INTERVIEW EVERY INDIVIDUAL EMPLOYEE TO CHECK HIS CALIBRE , AND NATURE OF DUTY HE IS DOING !

NO DIRECT RECRUITMENT BY MANGER SHOULD BE ENTERTAINED. ALL MANGERS MUST INFORM H.R FOR THEIR MAN POWER DEMANDS.

H.R MUST KNOW THE EDUCATIONAL , EXPERIENCE LEVEL OF EVERY EMPLOYEE KEEPING IN VIEW THE DEMAND OF WORK … MEAN FIGHTER PILOTS IN COCKPITS AND DRIVERS IN VEHICLES .. REALLY FELT SORRY WHEN SAW IN THAT COMPANY WHEN SAW  ‘POWERS” IN STUPID HANDS.

NO TERMINATION SHOULD BE EFFECTED UNLESS INTERVIEWED .. MY ONE FRIEND FACED THIS SITUATION IN GULF “ HE HAD THE HIGHEST EDUCATION LEVEL IN THAT DEPARTMENT. HE WAS FOOLISH ENOUGH AS “FELT IN LOYALITY IN COMPANY” BOLD ENOUGH TO CRITICISE IN FRONT OF MANGERS AS COULD NOT TOLLERATE THE COMPANY LOSS … RESULT APPEARED AS G.M RETIRED HIM , ORDERING TO LEAVE OFFICE IMMEDAITELY BY USING A H.R SUPERVISOR . HE DID ALL FRON OF THAT SUPERVISOR .. ALL OTHER RETIRED PERSON WERE GRANTED SIX MONTHS GRACE PERIOD BUT THAT PERSON – NO TIME ….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT IS GULF , WHERE DONKEYS PARTICIPATES IN RACE GROUNDS AND HORSES  ARE USED FOR TRANSPORTING GOODS … FORGOT TO MENTION … THAT PERSON APPRAISAL WAS EVIDENCING A CONSEQTIVE “OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE” IN APPRAISALS  SINCE INTRODUCED. HIS ONLY FAULT WAS … HE WAS SINCERE WITH COMPANY , ALWAYS PINPOINTING “STUPIDITIES” OF HIS MANAGERS ..

MORALE OF ARTICLE . ALL VESTS WITH MANAGERS .

INFLUENCE IS THE ABILITY TO CHANGE  PERCEPTIONS, DECISIONS AND BEHAVIORS  OF OTHERS ,  WITHOUT NECESSARILY HAVING FORMAL AUTHORITY TO DO SO.WHILE CHANGING PERCEIEVED CONCEPT . UPON LOGICS AND ETHICS..

RULES OF INFLUENCING 

MINIMIZING THE USE OF POWER.. DO NOT USE POWER UNWANTEDLY.IF A SUBRDINATE CRITICISES AND OBJECT OPENLY UPON YOUR FACE ( APPARENTLY MAY FEEL AN INSULT) AVOID TAKING IMMEDIATE  DRASTIC ACTION , BE COOL , THINK AND DECIDE.. SOME SUBORDINATES MAY TRY TO CLEAR THEIR CONCEPT BY MAKING YOUR CARTOONS , DO NOT THINK TO TAKE REVENGE IMMEDIATLEY . SUCH DARING MAY BE  HARMFULL FOR YOUR HEALTH, SO MISUSE OF POWER MAY RESULT IN “SUICIDE ATTACKS” TRY TO RESOLVE BY DIALOGUES 

IDENTIFY THOSE YOU HAVE TO INFLUENCE.SPECIFY ?  STUDY CATEGORY WHERE YOU HAVE TO INFLUENCE ?  FIRST IDENTIFY , THEN PLAN  , AND FINALLY DEAL WITH. .NEVER USE GUN TO KILL MOSQITTO. 

REMEMBER THAT THE PERSON YOU HAVE TO INFLUENCE IS AS SUBJECT TO THE MACRO-INFLUENCES OF EVERYDAY LIFE AS ANYONE  ELSE

GET TO KNOW  WHERE THE PRESSURE POINT AND PROGRESS POINTS ARE AND HOW AND WHEN TO PRESS THEM .GO FOR WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT

PREPARE A MENTAL DOSSIER ON TARGET BEFORE YOU BEGIN ?

A WISE MAN  QUALITY IS TO BE A  GOOD LISTENER .

GREAT THINGS CAN BE ACHIEVED BY BEING SILENT AT THE RIGHT TIME

LISTEN ACTIVELY; BE SEEN TO LISTEN

AVOID HASTED , ABRUPT JUDGEMENTS ,  ALWAYS REVIEW  AS  SECOND LOOK

IF YOU CAN INFLUENCE THE TOP MANAGEMENT YOU CAN BE AS INFLUENTIAL AS THE TOP SINGLE OBJECTIVES . A MULTIPLICITY DILUTES YOUR CHANCE OF SUCCESS UNLESS YOU CAN HOLD CENTRE- FIRST MAKE A LIST  OF  PERSONS WITH WHOM YOU HAVE TO DEAL . THE NAME AT TOP MUST BE  RETIRED / TERMINATED IMMEDAITELY , THEN  PAUSE , AFTER THAT SECOND , THEN THIRD. AVOID TO TAKE STEP AT ONE TIME.MAY SOME ONE HAS CALIBRE TO INFLUENCE TOP MANAGEMENT ! ! IF SOME ONE NEED INCREMENT OF 2 KD , GIVE HIM. DO NOT STAND ON TAIL. OR MAKE EGGO MATTER.

USE THE RIGHT LEVEL. IN-BETWEEN PEOPLE AND IN BETWEEN

USE TERRITORIAL IMPERATIVE: ACT ON YOUR OWN GROUND

YOU ARE ONLY INFLUENTIAL IF YOU ARE PERCEIVED TO BE WILLING TO STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. IF YOU’RE NOT POPULAR, IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT COMFORTABLE DOING THE THINGS THAT POPULAR PEOPLE TEND TO DO–,. YOU MIGHT BE INTROSPECTIVE,  OR QUIET,BUT IN ORDER TO GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU NEED TO CHANGE HOW YOU INTERACT WITH PEOPLE. AT FIRST, THAT MIGHT FEEL LIKE YOU’RE BEING SHALLOW OR FAKE, BUT REMEMBER , ALL ABOUT KNOWING WHAT YOU TRULY WANT OUT OF LIFE. THERE’S NOTHING WRONG  WANTING  GOOD TERMS WITH  PEOPLE .

POPULAR PEOPLE ARE ON FRIENDLY TERMS WITH PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE–NOT ONLY THEIR PEERS, BUT ALSO TO  OTHER MEMBERS OF SOCIETY ,  RELATIVES AND  AMONG FRIEND CIRCLE.

TALK TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE WHO CROSSES YOUR PATH.  AND IF THEY GREET YOU , YOU GREET BACK, ASK THEM HOW THEY’RE DOING. NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, TO CHAT WITH STRANGERS AND ACQUAINTANCES ALIKE, EVEN IF IT’S JUST FOR A FEW MINUTES.BEWARE , WHAT EVER YOU DO , KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN . CLOSE YOUR EARS IF YOUR SOME “CHUMCHA KHAS” SAYS ANYTHING.

KEEP IT CASUAL. IS ALL ABOUT STICKING TO “SAFE” TOPICS. AVOID CONTROVERSIAL , LIKE RELIGION OR POLITICS , OR HEARING NEGATIVE  ABOUT OTHERS. AVOID  COMMENTS AND VIEWS  ON A CONTROVERSIAL TOPIC, YOU’RE BOUND TO BE UNPOPULAR WITH PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE. KEEP THE TOPICS “LIGHT”. NEVER BELIEVE THOSE WHO ALWAYS FLATTERS YOU AND PEERS.

 RESPECT PEOPLE’S PRIVACY , AND,STUDY BODY LANGUAGE, OBSERVE WHEN YOUR QUESTIONS  STARTS  MAKING THEM UNCOMFORTABLE. DON’T INVITE YOURSELF ANYWHERE, DON’T BRAG, AND DON’T INTERRUPT. IN OTHER WORDS,

OBSERVE THE “LOOKS” OF PEOPLE WHERE YOU ARE WORKING !  TRY TO GET OPINION HOW PEOPLW THINK ABOUT YOU ? DON’T TRY TO ACT INTERESTING TO GET OTHER PEOPLE’S ATTENTION; ACT INTERESTED IN THEM. ASK THEM HOW WORK OR ACTIVITIES  GOING, HOW THEIR FAMILY IS DOING, HOW THAT SITUATION THEY MENTIONED A WHILE BACK TURNED OUT, AND SO ON. THEN RELATE. TALK TO THEM ABOUT HOW YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAD SOMETHING SIMILAR HAPPEN TO THEM, AND HOW THEY DEALT WITH IT.

POPULAR PEOPLE DON’T JUST KNOW EVERYONE

IT MAY SOUND TRITE, BUT POPULAR PEOPLE LIVE OUT THIS POPULAR PHRASE. YOU MIGHT THINK THAT IN ORDER TO BE POPULAR, TALENTED, BUT–WHILE IT’S TRUE THAT THOSE QUALITIES ARE MORE LIKELY TO MAKE YOU A HIT WITH PEOPLE–THERE ARE EXTREMELY POPULAR PEOPLE WHO ARE OTHERWISE QUITE AVERAGE, AND THERE ARE EXTREMELY GOOD-LOOKING AND TALENTED PEOPLE WHO ARE ANYTHING BUT POPULAR. REMEMBER, THE ONLY THING YOU NEED IN ORDER TO BE POPULAR IS A GOOD SET OF PEOPLE SKILLS–THE REMAINDER IS ALL YOURS TO MOLD AS YOU SEE FIT, REGARDLESS OF WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS.     

FORGET NOT  TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH OLD FRIENDS / COLLEGUES / SUBORDINATES TO IMPRESS THEM THAT YOU  YOU’VE FORGOTTEN  THEM ( EVEN IF YOU HAVE TERMINATED OR RETIRED THAT PERSON) JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE MAKING NEW ONES. DON’T JUST HANG OUT WITH ONE IN ORDER TO BE POPULAR, YOU MUST BE ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH OTHERS EFFECTIVELY. THIS VIDEO WILL GIVE YOU SOME IMPORTANT TIPS ON IMPROVING YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS WITH OTHERS SO YOU CAN BECOME POPULAR.

BEWARE :

GUARD YOUR PRIVACY. WHEN EVERYONE KNOWS YOU, IT MEANS THAT THERE’S A GREATER LIKELIHOOD OF NOSINESS AND GOSSIP. THINK OF HOW FAMOUS CELEBRITIES HAVE SOMEONE PRYING INTO THEIR PERSONAL LIVES AT ALL TIMES (INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW). YOU’LL ALSO NEED TO BE PREPARED FOR PEOPLE STARTING CONVERSATIONS WITH YOU WHILE YOU’RE RUNNING ERRANDS OR SITTING DOWN READING A BOOK AT THE PARK. IT COMES WITH THE PACKAGE. HANDLE IT GRACEFULLY.

DON’T THINK TOO HARD. BEING POPULAR IS AS MUCH A STATE OF MIND AS ANYTHING ELSE. IF PEOPLE SEE YOU TRYING TOO HARD TO BE POPULAR, THEY WILL USUALLY DISMISS YOUR EFFORTS. POPULARITY, IN THE END, IS ONLY PARTLY ABOUT HOW OTHERS SEE YOU. YOUR REPUTATION MAY FADE AND CHANGE OVER TIME, AND THE ONLY THING YOU CAN CONTROL IS HOW YOU TREAT OTHERS.

DON’T BE DISAPPOINTED IF YOU FAIL. POPULARITY CAN BE EASY FOR SOME AND PRACTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR OTHERS. THERE ARE MANY FACTORS WHICH CAN PREVENT A PERSON FROM BEING OUTGOING AND WELL-LIKED, BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THE PERSON IS WORTH ANY LESS.

REALIZE THAT POPULARITY HAS ITS UPS AND DOWNS, AND MAY FADE VERY QUICKLY WHEN YOU START AT A NEW SCHOOL OR JOB. EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT, AND SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO START OVER.

 TREAT EQUALLY WHILE REFUSING AND REJECTING NEPOTISM. BE FAIR AND HONEST.